Our Life in Review: Lesson #5 This too shall pass…

Every morning is a mystery. I never know what the scene will be outside my kitchen window. I love the ocean. I find it calming. Peaceful. Alive. After retiring from the transient life of the Air Force, I wanted a home with a water view. But alas, beachside is not our lot in life. However, marshside is!

So every morning I wander down to my kitchen to grab my cup a’ joe. I look out the window over my kitchen sink and wonder, “Will there be ocean or mud?” The water in the marsh rises and falls with the tide. This morning was the most beautiful, chilly fall morning. When I glanced out the window, my heart filled with joy. No literally. Seeing God’s amazing creation brings a smile to my face and I’m filled with gratitude.

Attempt #1 The white in the distance are the diamonds! But I guess you just have to trust me.

Just beyond my fence, the tide was so high that the water almost touched the tip of our kayak on the bank. The sun, which has been hiding for a few days, was reflecting off the water, looking like a million diamonds dancing over the surface. Something about that view filled my heart with hope. Today was going to be a good day. I grabbed my camera to try to capture the view. But honestly, I failed. The picture doesn’t convey what I saw.

 

Attempt #2...nope. You still can't see what I saw.

I sat down on my deck to soak it in. And as God often does, I felt Him teaching me something in this moment. I was so taken with this view because it doesn’t happen every morning. I’m not sure that I would ever take it for granted. I’d like to think I wouldn’t. But I may never know. Because that’s not my life. On the mornings the tide is low, I wake up to mud.

This morning I thought, “The sparkling water is so much more beautiful because I know what the marsh looks like without it.”  

And such is life.

I’ve mentioned before how much I dislike discomfort. If I could have it my way, every day would be easy. No pain. No discomfort. Never too cold. Never too hot. Constant perfection. But here’s the reality. If life really was like that, we wouldn’t appreciate the good in our lives. Without something to compare it to, life would be bland. Boring.

Challenge and change are the spice of life.

When my husband used to have to go on extended TDYs or deployments, I dreaded the pain of that separation. It was hard. I’m glad those days are over. (Not to confuse you, we just traded those struggles for new ones.) But in the struggle, I grew. I learned I could do more than I thought. I didn’t enjoy it, but I survived. And on the best days, I thrived. God was faithful. We got through it. And when we were reunited, the joy of having my husband home was heightened because I knew what it was to be without him. The contrast made me appreciate his presence so much more.

Have you ever been so hungry that whatever you eat tastes better than you ever remember it tasting before? "One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet." Proverb 27:7. 

Or when you've been sick. That first morning you wake up feeling normal again. You never realized how great normal felt until you were running a 101 fever and couldn't keep anything down. Suddenly "normal" is amazing! 

Like the ebb and flow of the tides, our lives are filled with good and bad. I look out at the mud when the tide is low and think of how muddy and messy life is sometimes. Some days I’m tempted to wallow in that mud. To even start believing that the mud is all there is. Until the tide comes back in. 

Even though I don’t understand them, the tides have a God-given schedule. They happen twice a day. But to me they seem random. I don't understand them. They aren't on a 12 hr schedule. And so it is with my life. I don’t understand His timing, but I trust that He does. Believing Him to be all-powerful, I know that all He has to do is say the word and my circumstances would change. But His ways are higher than mine.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord."For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

If I can trust that God knows what He's doing, then I can work through the hard times believing they are producing something good in me. James 1:2-4 puts it this way.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Dear friend, no matter what you’re going through right now, this too shall pass. There are better days ahead. The tide will come in. The water will sparkle again. And when it does, what joy will fill your heart!

Our Life in Review: Lesson #4 God is good. Trust Him with everything

Expect the worst – prepare for the best. We’ve all heard that advice. It’s conventional wisdom. I’ve heard it 3 times in the past week. Conventional wisdom also says that bad things happen in threes. Or is it good things happen in threes. I don’t know. I just know that when I hear something from different sources 3 or more times, it’s my cue to sit up and take notice. The same message in many ways. I've read that the number 3 points to God's sovereignty. God just might be speaking. 

So I asked God, what do I need to learn? Is there something wrong with this thinking? The first time I read this statement, the writer said, 

“Expectation is a form of faith. Your expectation is the belief that what you’re hoping for is actually going to happen, not your backup plan to take care of yourself in case it doesn’t.”

Can we hope for God’s best if we’re really believing in the worst? If I’m expecting the worst, is that what I’ll end up with? What is that saying about what I believe God can or will do for me? And will my lack of faith interfere with God moving in my situation? These are all questions I’ve been pondering this week.

We raised our children to know God. Not just know ABOUT God. But know Him as a friend. A good father. Someone to have a vibrant ongoing relationship with. In order to have a good relationship with Him, we have to believe that we can trust Him and that He’s good. This week, I think God was refining that belief in me.

I don’t consider myself a control freak. (Don’t ask my husband or kids though. Let me stay in denial.) I don’t find it too difficult to go with the flow in group situations. I can follow when the moment calls for it. I don’t always have to be in charge. (OK, just sometimes.) However, when it comes to trusting God, I’ve learned that one of the hardest issues of trust for me is surrendering my control. When it comes to expectations, if I can’t control the outcome, I can at least lower my expectations, thereby controlling the emotional fallout. Still an illusion of control. If I don’t expect a gift on my birthday, and someone forgets, I won’t be disappointed. That makes sense, right? (Silly illustration, but you get the point.)

In many situations I don’t even know what my expectations are until they go unmet. That’s a hard one to prepare for! Consequently, I’ve found myself thinking through scenarios and lowering my expectations, so I won’t be hurt or disappointed. (Wow, to put that down in black and white is a little jarring.)

But this week, I feel like God is showing me that I’ve traded potential joy and opportunity for false or perceived security. The second place I read this statement, the author was explaining how believing God for the best actually sets us free. What happens when we see God’s way, expect the best and prepare for the best? “We become free from apprehension and filled with anticipation.” What?! I want that! To actually look forward to good things happening? Yep.

In my best moments I know I’ve experienced that. Filled with faith, I pray and actually believe that God is going to do good things. The problem is I can’t control the outcome. If what God decides is a good thing, doesn’t coincide with what I want or define as a good thing, disappointment follows. Preparing for the worst really exposes that I don’t believe God is going to answer my prayer. Or worse, that He’ll answer but He’ll disappoint me. When did I stop believing that God is good. And that His plans for me are good?

What about Eph 3:20 “Now to Him who is able to do EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us”… Like He had to use two really big adverbs so we would realize He really means business.

If God’s word is to be believed, it looks like He has plans that are way way way above anything I can even imagine! Now that’s something to get excited about.

If Peter had expected the worst, but hoped for the best, he would never have stepped out of the boat when Jesus told him to come to him on the water. You could argue that he started to sink shortly after he took his first step, but he had to have expected initially that he would be able to do exactly what Jesus said he would do. And Peter sinking was not Jesus failing to do His part. Peter only started to sink when he looked at the wind and the waves. Fear of the worst interrupted the amazing experience Jesus had planned for Peter.

And what about Romans 8:28 “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God - those whom he has called according to his plan.”

Even when the worst happens…your child gets sick, you lose your job, that storm hits. Can you believe that God will use it for something good in your life? I got fired from a job once. No amount of preparing for the worst and hoping for the best was going to save me from that situation. Because in hindsight I understand that God was working things in my heart and my faith that required that outcome. I grew exponentially through that very painful situation. And holding onto trust that God was going to work it together for my good was essential to me coming through that experience whole.

The 3^rd time I heard this statement this week was out of the mouth of a detective on a TV show. I laughed out loud. Like the moment in the Bible when God spoke audibly through a donkey. He can speak to us through any means He chooses. Call me crazy, but I know God was getting my attention. He is adjusting a wrong way of thinking that has wormed its way into my psyche.

I will work on consciously expecting the best, and preparing for the best. I will trust that God is good and if things don’t work out the way I want, at some point I will understand. In this life or the next. Hard things must come in life too. They are good teachers. Sometimes the best. But God has my ultimate good in mind even in those situations. I can trust Him in everything. He is GOOD.

Our Life in Review #3: Be excellent in all you do! But don’t fall for perfectionism.

I’m a creative. One who loves to create. I feel most alive when I am creating. 

Creating art with sugar!

 I enjoy so many different mediums. Words is one of them. I also love baking and creating beautiful cookies. 

 I love making my surroundings beautiful. I love flowers and plants. Not really my creations. I have to give God the credit on that! But I love using His beauty to fill my yard and my deck. 

My peaceful space.

I’ve recently taken up watercolor painting. What a beautiful and challenging medium! 

Attempt at watercolor

And I can’t forget photography!

I practiced on my gorgeous daughter.

My husband and I have started a business in that medium. I really want to grow and excel in that one! It’s our retirement plan! 

But probably the one I most want to focus on and grow in is writing. Words move me. When I read words that not only express ideas well, but paint vibrant pictures in my mind, my heart sings. For as long as I can remember I have been in love with words.

I grew up in a family of creatives. My dad is a sculptor and builder. He creates amazing works of art with wood, metal, plaster…pieces of things that by themselves are nothing until he brings them to life with his creativity. And he’s most happy when he’s creating. My mom taught me to sew and use fabric to creative. All of my siblings, 2 sisters and a brother are creatives. Like me, they have many mediums they explore. Music is a big one! Writing, creating, playing and singing. My brother has a habit of singing his little ones to sleep. He plays his guitar and sings songs of life over them as they are ending their day. One sister knows that God has gifted her with writing and singing music. She’s working on honoring God with her gift. My other sister creates beautiful spaces for weddings and parties and living. And that’s just one of her many talents. Both of my sisters have beautiful homes touched with their finger prints. Expressions of their creativity in the way they design their living spaces.

This past week was challenging. I really wanted to write a beautiful blog, but nothing I plunked out on my screen seemed to work. So I start making excuses. Only the excuses all sounded hollow. I’m really not too busy. I make time for what I truly want to do. It's just that too many distractions keep me from creating. But it was more than just distraction. An honest look inside brought me to an answer.

Perfectionism has swallowed my creativity.

As my children were growing up, my husband and I wanted to raise them to be excellent in all they do (#3 of this series, though not in any particular order). But that message is easily distorted by the thief Perfectionism. We would tell them to do everything they did to the best of their ability as if they were doing it for God alone. “Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being for the Lord and not for men.” Col 3:23. But often we are working more for the applause of men than for God. And we don’t always know it. Or worse, we stop working because of the fear of men. What if I’m not good enough?

I didn’t get a blog post done last week. I started this challenge strong. Determined to overcome my fear. Determined to keep meeting the deadlines. But somehow I got sidetracked. I let the thief Perfectionism in the door and his taunting paralyzed me. I sat down to write a few different times. Always with a commitment to completing something I could post. But every time I fell to the power of perfectionism and couldn’t get past the feeling that it wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say and certainly not how I wanted to say it. I felt crippled. And ugly. And simply not good enough. I let the thief steal from me.

Writing this now is so exposing. I’m not 100% sure I’m even going to post this. But as I think about what I wanted to teach my children about doing things well while not falling into the trap of perfectionism, I know I have to lead by example. Because they are watching. And no child ever learned what a parent said, if their actions didn’t line up. ‘Do what I say, not what I do’ is the epitome of hypocrisy.

So here’s the bottom line. Always care enough about what you are doing, whether that is being a student, being an employee, being a parent, being a blogger, being a painter, whatever it is you are doing and being, to do it with all your heart. Put your best into it. Make it matter. As if you are doing it for God himself.

Be excellent in all you do! But don’t fall for perfectionism.

I often have to choose to narrow my focus so much that God is the only one I am seeing. To use photography terms, I set my aperture to f2.8 and focus on His eyes. All the background goes into a hazy blur. What He sees is all that matters. And God is so full of love and grace toward me that what He sees in my offering is excellence. When I give Him my offering with a heart of gratitude and humility, He responds with no critique or criticism. Only joy in my gift.

This morning as I was sitting down to write this blog, I took a few minutes to listen to a message online. I had prayed earlier that God would give me a blog post. I asked for His help. I wanted Him to give me His words. I don’t want creating to be so difficult. I want it to come easy. That’s just the truth of it. But nothing of value ever comes easy.

So I’m listening to this message and he ended with a story that pierced my heart. The story I needed to hear today. He had prayed before a creative session with his worship team that God would give them a song. But in his spirit he heard God say, “Why don’t YOU give ME a song.” He felt God saying that He had put in his being the creativity, the words, the melodies, the experiences, all that they needed to write a song. Now they just needed to do it.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized God was saying the same thing to me. I want him to download the words as I just take dictation. And I even still believe He does that sometimes. But in this situation I felt God telling me to give HIM the gift of my creativity, my words, my heart, that He ultimately gave to me, but wants me to use. Put in my best effort. And He would be pleased with my gift. BIG lightbulb moment for me!

So this one is for you Jesus. And I pray that my kids would remember this life lesson too.